Monthly Archives: January 2021

Short fosters, second chances and Teddy Boy

Teddy Boy was my shortest foster.  I had him with me for a whopping two hours.

He was a happy-go-lucky boy and only 8 months old when he was adopted the first time.  He had an older “brother” dog and he loved his family.  We thought they loved him, too. All seemed well, until it wasn’t.

One day, Teddy Boy and the older dog suddenly didn’t get along.  He had been with his owners for a year and a half and this came out of the blue.  They freaked out and felt they couldn’t deal with it.  Things became very tense.  They kept the dogs separated and spent less time with Teddy.  He knew something was up and stopped eating much at dinner.  They felt they had to choose and that their first loyalty was to the older dog.

When they contacted the rescue, they planned to send Teddy to a local shelter immediately.  The adoption contract, however, said they had to return him to the rescue. 

It’s awful for any dog to be sent from family life to a shelter.  They don’t understand what happened or why.  They trade a warm bed for a concrete floor and daily affection for getting only their basic needs met.  The rescue didn’t want to see that happen to Teddy. 

Teddy Boy was a beautiful dog.  He was a rangy 70 pounds with creamy, short fur and freckles across his face. He was tall, with long legs and was both graceful and fast.   He was also a lucky boy.  The rescue convinced the owners to stand by their word and release him back to them.  Instead of going to a shelter, Teddy went to a beautiful dog boarding facility nearby.

I went to pick him up a few days later.  The place was 90 minutes away from me in a very pretty rural setting.  As soon as I walked in, several of the people who worked there rushed over to tell me what a wonderful dog he was.

“He gets along with every single dog, even the picky ones,” I was told.

“His tail never stops wagging.  Even when he eats, his tail is wagging,” another said.

One young woman had come in on her day off to ask if she could adopt him.  “I bring my German Shepherd to work,” she told me.  “He loves Teddy and so do I.”

In the few days that Teddy was in the boarding facility, he had already been adopted.  In fact, several families fell in love with his online picture.  Instead of bringing him home to my house to foster, I was meeting his new family two towns away in a local park. 

I walked him out and around the parking area where I could smell the piney smell of the surrounding evergreens.  He zig zagged and pulled a bit. He hopped readily into my car and we loaded up his stuff.  He had a lot of things from his previous owners – a bed, a bag of toys, leftover kibble and treats.  He sniffed and, satisfied that he recognized it, settled down in my car.

The drive was short and along pretty roads.  In about 20 minutes, we came to the turnoff to the park.  His new family arrived quickly after us.  They were thrilled to meet him.  They exclaimed over how beautiful he was and let him take the lead in greeting them, as experienced dog owners do.  They had recently lost a dog, they told me, and felt they needed a new dog to make their family complete.

The father asked if he could walk Teddy and did, with his two little girls by his side.  Again, Teddy zig zagged and pulled a bit on his leash.  The 7 year-old said, “Me next! I want to walk him.” 

“No! I want to go first,” the 4 year-old daughter exclaimed. 

Without hesitation, the father handed her the leash.  And Teddy did a remarkable thing.  He looked over his shoulder at the little girl, seeing who was holding his leash. When they set out, he walked slowly and gently.  He adjusted his pace to hers.  He walked in straight line in whatever direction she chose.  She beamed.

They signed the new adoption contract and loaded up Teddy’s stuff into the back of their SUV.  He jumped in the back seat, between the two little girls.  All three of them looked happy, Teddy most of all.

Shutdown, trust and Brandy- Part Two

Brandy laying close to Teddy

I stood, leash in hand, watching Brandy eat her kibble. She kept one eye on me and her body was ready to spring away the instant I moved toward her.  But keeping me in her sights was an improvement.  The first night I brought her home with me, she tried to hide in an upstairs bedroom at dinnertime.  I’d closed all the doors, however, and she was stuck in the dead end hall.  Quivering.

I told her, “You are eating with the pack, little girl.”  I fed Teddy and Josie first, then put down her bowl.  She watched them for a moment, then slowly began to eat.  Josie, as usual, scarfed her food at a breakneck pace and watched Brandy carefully to make sure she didn’t leave anything.  That didn’t bother Brandy. It was having me nearby made her worried.

Just as I’d hoped, she loved my two dogs. Teddy, who adored routine and was pretty unflappable, patiently showed her the ropes and lay next to her when she was scared.  Josie tossed toys at her and then stole them back.  Brandy’s whole body relaxed when she was with them.

I realized quickly that she lived in a state of nonstop vigilance and fear.  Any new noise made her startle and freeze.  When Teddy looked out the window and barked at the mailman, she raced to the other side of the room.  When my son came over, she watched him from the other side of a doorway.  But outdoors with only the dogs, she was happy to chase a squirrel or watch the birds.  It was people who gave her pause.

Josie and Brandy watching the world

I also got in touch with her former foster through the Lucky Lab Rescue facebook page for fosters.  It had been two years but she remembered Brandy well. She posted that Brandy had a hard time trusting humans and would run if she saw a towel or even a toy swinging in the air.  She wondered if she had been beaten or abused.  She ended by saying, “I don’t know what makes some dogs bounce back after abuse while others don’t.  Sadly, the physical wounds are always easier to heal than the wounds to one’s soul.”

I had raised a child with intense anxiety and this was familiar territory.  I felt for Brandy.  It was exhausting to anticipate the worst.  I knew routine was my friend.  I realized small steps were going to do the trick.  Most of all, my secret weapon was the power of the pack.

“Come here, pretty girl,” I would call her while holding a leash.  Brandy liked leashes – they meant happy things.  I would tie her leash to one of my dogs, usually Teddy, so that she couldn’t hide and was never alone.  They lay side by side where the sun hit the carpet or walked together to the water bowl.  They got treats together and praise together. We were making progress.

Shutdown, trust and Brandy – Part One

When I pulled up in front of the large, gray house, I had no idea what to expect.  Lucky Lab Rescue had asked to me go get Brandy because her owners didn’t want to keep her. They said she was still terrified of them and hid from them most of the time.  She was still afraid to eat when they were in the same room.  This was fearfulness to the moon and back.

And they’d had her for two freaking years. 

Brandy before I fostered her

In rescue, there is the 3-3-3 rule.  Three days to de-stress, three weeks to settle in and three months to build trust.  Something had gone seriously wrong here.  I had no idea what.

I knocked on their blue front door and went in to meet Brandy and her owners, a married couple who had never had a dog before they adopted her, and their college aged son.  Brandy was nowhere to be seen.  I was told she was hiding in the son’s bedroom upstairs, not because of me, but because it was what she did every day.  My own dogs would have run to greet a new person, I thought, maybe given a perfunctory bark or two.  There would be lots of sniffing, tail wagging and curiosity to see who had walked into their home.  But here, nothing. No sign of a dog at all.

I asked a few polite questions and then just listened.  Brandy was beautiful, they told me.  But “she acts a like scared, hurt, insane creature 99% of the time.”  She shakes coming down the stairs to go for a walk and sometimes pees out of fear, they added.  She hides in our son’s bedroom (who was home on a break) most of the time.  We put out her food at night before we go to bed and she comes down to eat while we are asleep. 

She acts like we are always just about to harm her, they told me. “At the two-year mark,” the woman said, “we don’t have much hope for change.”

“Will she come with me?” I asked. “I have two dogs at home who are calm and love other dogs. That might be what she needs right now.”  They looked at each other and nodded.  I told them a couple of stories about Teddy and Josie and how they loved the dogs we had fostered.  How they tag teamed, with Teddy being calm and showing other dogs the ropes, while Josie played and pushed them to get into trouble with her.

They asked if I could train Brandy and then return her.  “No,” I explained. “You said you were returning her, letting her go.  She will come stay with me for a while and then go to another home. Is that what you still want?”  They nodded, tearful, but seemed to accept it.

Someone went to get Brandy’s paperwork and food, while the son went upstairs with her leash. 

As she came down the stairs I stood quietly, not looking at her.  When a dog is scared, they often tuck their tail under, but Brandy’s tail was docked.  She stood docilely, trembling slightly.  She didn’t seem ready to bolt, but resigned, a little defeated.

We all walked outside and I was handed her leash.  I opened my car door, expecting to have to wait a bit or maybe coax her to get in.  But she surprised me and jumped right into the back seat, where she sniffed the dog smells my two dogs had left.  She didn’t look at me.  She didn’t look at her owners.  I ran the seat belt through the loop in her leash and shut the door.

When we got to my house, Brandy immediately tried to find a place to hide.  But only from me, not my dogs.  She started playing with them within 20 minutes.  Small steps, I told myself. Let’s see if the 3-3-3 rule will work this time.